


Descent and Repentance

by Kikari



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, i just think about sephiran and zelgius' dying words a lot, some dad sephiran, writing those two was surprisingly nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 21:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18507160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kikari/pseuds/Kikari
Summary: With the denouncement of his Goddess comes reflection. As Yune's chosen leave the Tower of Guidance, Lehran is left to confront the wake his divine retribution has wrought, especially in Zelgius.





	Descent and Repentance

Lehran watches as Ike, wreathed in Yune's radiant flames, delivers the final blow to the Goddess of Order. The sight is jarring even after realizing it is just and watching Yune depart in tandem stirs an ache from deep within himself. His wait for their return will be long after this day.

At the center of their newly won peace, the maiden addresses Yune’s chosen. She confirms what he had already sensed: the goddesses have left, their people are safe, and their fight is now over. A collective sense of relief floods the floor in a mild cacophony of cheers, dropped weapons, and hurried footsteps. He catches the look between the radiant hero and his staff officer- a rough hand reaching to cradle a face softly at ease. Tears of relief well in both of their eyes before quickly being blinked back. In a like manner, the boy always at the maiden's side reaches for her hand, rubbing his thumb softly over the top as they share widening smiles. He wonders if he would have looked much the same if Zelgius were still here. The grip on his staff tightens in his hands at the thought as he mourns quiet and pensive. 

When the cheers subside, the chosen army begins their descent down the tower, Lehran in tow. His empress finds her way to his side, and despite their closeness she is apprehensive. Lehran has hurt her in his betrayal and so had Zelgius under his direction. He does not want her to hurt again.

A deep breath fills his lungs in anticipation for what he knows is waiting below. The thought of Zelgius’ corpse fills him with dread, but leaving him unseen would dishonor him further. He wasn't there for his last moments- confident before that it would not have mattered. Zelgius would die as would he, either by succeeding and letting themselves meet divine punishment or by failing and seeing their ends by the same blade. Yet now moreso than ever, he feels regret well in his chest for bringing Zelgius down his damned path. 

As the army continues down the tower, they stratify into small groups and pairs descending at different speeds. Lehran walks slow, leaving himself and his empress far from the lead. He makes his way down past the gate opened by his "death" and into Dheginsea's chamber. Ahead, he hears the voice of the heron prince singing galdr for the numerous fallen of the dragon tribe, as the small Goldoan King and his retainers work to gently carry his father's body from the tower. There are likely more of the dragon tribe dead in this room than alive to greet their new king in Goldoa, and the irony leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He finds his eyes lingering on Kurthnaga’s back as the sound of galdr fades. The memory of his departure from Dheginsea’s court resurfaces, and he wishes he had realized sooner that he and his old friend had not been so different.

Past the next set of winding stairs, the room he had entrusted to Zelgius lies before him, and as he draws closer, a question continues to ring out in his mind. For all his wrong doings he knows he does not deserve an answer. Absolving even a fraction of his guilt is not something he should ask for. Yet, as he continues down, single step by step, his desire for one grows. The door to the next room is in sight, and Lehran can already catch sight of the bodies lying ahead. He looks down towards Sanaki and gives her a gentle pat on her shoulder. He lifts his head again in hopes of catching the Raven King's eye, and Naesala meets his with a scowl; he is not surprised by the response and merely guides his eyes back to Sanaki. Naesala's scowl recedes slowly, before it is replaced with reluctant understanding. This is where Lehran will part ways with her. Naesala can take her the rest of the way.

"My Empress," he says addressing her gently, "if you will allow it, I will meet you at the end of the tower." He tries to keep his eyes trained on hers, but they flick across the strewn bodies. "The Raven King has guarded you well, and I am sure he will not fail now."

Sanaki pauses for a moment with a look of mild confusion before understanding crosses her face. She clears her throat and looks him sternly in the eye.  
"I will allow it," she decides after some pause, "so long as you promise me."  
"It is one I will not break, my Lady Sanaki."

She gives him a small smile before letting Naesala lead her down the tower. Lehran hears her light admonishments before Naesala agrees to carry her on his back. He will accompany her the rest of the way down in his stead, past what she need not witness again.

There is something he must do.

His search for Zelgius does not take long, despite the numerous bodies littering the blessed stone. He treads carefully to where Zelgius lay solitary- nestled in the corner of the bloodied room. The armor he had gifted him is now in shambles and the blood from his wounds have long since stopped flowing. His eyes are already closed, and the face before him looks like one at peace, but Lehran does not trust himself to know if what he sees is merely his hopes reflected back or the reality before him. 

His legs shake as he kneels before Zelgius’ corpse. The memory of their first meeting flashes in his mind and the guilt of finding his body alone claws at his chest. Lehran’s hands slowly reach for his before falling slack at his side. He cannot bring himself to touch him, to confirm what is already so plainly evident. Rather, he reaches for his own inner calm and prays. He practices what is, perhaps, a tradition of futility in a world of absent divinity, but it is at least one futility that has never stopped him before. 

He does not know how much time passes while fixated on his silent pleas before he hears Ike approach. The clatter of his lighter armor remains distinct and his footsteps are fortunately unaccompanied. Ike must have chosen to watch for those ahead rather than continue to lead the vanguard. Perhaps he wishes to ensure even someone like Lehran leaves this place. 

He ends his prayer before clearing his throat to take advantage of the only opportunity he may have.  
"Ike,” he calls to gain the others attention, “there is something..." he swallows around the lump he failed to clear in his throat "...something that I must ask you."

There's a shuffle as the footsteps draw closer before he hears Ike stop. He cannot bring himself to look away from the body before him, so he takes Ike's silence as acknowledgement. 

Lehran’s eyes move down to look at a gash in Zelgius’ torso before he speaks again. "When he-when Zelgius passed" he bites his lip, "was he satisfied? I do not ask that you gave him mercy. Neither him nor I are worthy of it, but I must ask- did he die at peace?"

There's a pause as Ike considers his question. He has known Ike to be someone who speaks his mind with little filter. Lehran is sure he will give an honest answer regardless of how it may sting.

"I think Zelgius wanted more than anything to test his abilities against my father's. He could have killed me during the Mad King's War, but he left me alive to carry on my father's swordsmanship instead. I don't think he knew a better way to die."

"I see." He says with a sad smile. "Thank you." He lifts a knee forward, stands, and turns to address Ike face to face. "Ike, I truly regret how consumed by my own suffering I was. It has hurt this land and all of its people. Including you." Lehran sighs, "It hurt him, too. Zelgius had once asked me if he could find redemption by following me, and in my foolishness I never told him there was not a thing he need redeem himself for. Perhaps if I had, he would have had no reason to accompany me on my path of self destruction.”

Ike shakes his head. "No. Zelgius was responsible for his own actions. If he hadn't wanted to follow you then he wouldn't have.” He says firmly before continuing with some hesitance. “I wouldn’t know any better than you, but I think he was happy in your company."

Lehran’s eyes widen. Casting aside his justifications for divine punishment had brought him much to reconsider. But the guilt had also brought him to doubt Zelgius’ own convictions. The reaffirmation from Ike surprises him. 

"Truly? You do mean that?" Lehran says with a sense of disbelief.

Ike nods in affirmation. "If he had regrets, he wouldn't have used his last words to speak of you."

"Zelgius... did that?"

Lehran sees Ike’s brows pinch as he recalls Zelgius’ words, sifting them out from the past hours’ chaos. He recites them with some pause, "Zelgius said to me that his life had meaning, and that he would be waiting for you in the afterlife."

The words shake Lehran from the precarious composure he had maintained since Ashera’s defeat as he feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes, "I see... I had hoped," he swallows before continuing, "hoped that he would wait for me but to know that he said that... Ike, the knowledge of those words are more than I deserve." He raises a hand to wipe at his eyes. "Ah, Zelgius... we were such fools."

Ike looks aside and allows Lehran a moment to compose himself, and Lehran makes an effort to do so quickly. There will be time for him to grieve in full later. 

"I can never forgive you for what you’ve done, but you already took the first step on a path for change.” Ike looks down towards the goddess staff now resting at Lehran's hip- signs of wear showing in it’s dulled red gem. “Don't squander that."

His words hit with their expected bluntness but are nevertheless true. "You are right. I may never atone, but I will do all that I can to see the world become one the Goddess wished for... One that would have been kinder for him, too."

Ike smiles at that. "Don't forget those words and try to die before your time again, Lehran. I know Zelgius said he would be waiting, but I think he'll understand if you make him wait a while. You have a goddess to greet properly, too after all.”

Lehran feels a true smile begin to spread across his lips. It seems both he and Zelgius will have to be patient. "Yes, I think they would like that."

******  


Past the cheers of the Begnion citizenry, an effort to remove bodies from the tower is underway. If all goes well, he hopes this will make his next task simpler. With the war truly over and with no further threats of violence, it is the first action they can take towards peace. Likewise, few in Begnion would take too kindly to further defilement of the Tower of Guidance, despite having just been freed from Ashera’s imprisonment. The crowd persists at a distance now- likely turned away by a combination of the army's efforts to give themselves space and the general disgust at the sight of hacked, shredded, and impaled bodies. He is thankful for the public’s aversion as he takes his first steps outside. Their Prime Minister, Sephiran of Persis, died in that tower, and it is best they not witness his doppelganger. 

Honoring his word, he meets with Sanaki first and is pleased to see her well in the hands of Tanith, Sigrun, and a mildly annoyed Naesala. She steps away from her entourage- aware that a conversation with their involvement may not be the most productive one. The ire sent his way is palpable even at a respectable distance. 

“Sephiran, what do you intend to do now?” She asks straight to the point.

“Sephiran?” He says with a quirk at the corner of his mouth. “Were you not intending to suffocate him in a pool of butter?” Lehran replies before realizing he is dodging her question. Slipping into half truths and misdirections is not something he wishes of himself anymore, but thankfully, she chuckles at that. It is a wondrous sound to be able to hear again. As her laughter subsides, he kneels down to her height and begins to answer honestly.

“My Empress, you will always be my Lady Sanaki; my sun and all my stars. The man I was, Sephiran, died at the gate to Ashera, but Lehran has and always will cherish you. This much has never been a lie.”

She searches his eyes for any hint of falsehood before she is satisfied then hums in acknowledgement.

“That being said, I'm afraid Lehran cannot stay at your side.” He says softly.

Her eyes meet his firmly, yet disappointment at the inevitable still shines through. “Yes, I suppose that is true.”

“If the herons will have me, then I wish to return to the forests. But I am sure a reason can be made for the Empress to visit in order to facilitate the succession of Serenes, yes?” He reaches for her hand and gives it a delicate squeeze. “This will not be goodbye, I promise it.”

Her face brightens with a small smile at that. “If you break it, then I'll just have to drown Lehran in butter, as well.” She says pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Or perhaps pudding would be better this time?” She ponders.

He gives her a light chuckle before standing. “I assure you a final decision will not be necessary, Lady Sanaki.”

He stands and brushes the dirt from his knees before dismissing himself as Sanaki returns to her guard. He is sure they will have words for him before the army factions part ways, but before then he has one more request to ask.

He finds the Hawk King in a brief moment of rest from lifting loaded makeshift stretchers and other remnants, stretching his arms and wings before he continues his efforts. The younger Heron Prince, Reyson, is nearby assisting where he can by keeping Tibarn refreshed and directing those around him with a surprising amount of fervor.

Lehran's business with them is twofold. He first needs to ask if he is welcome in the newly relinquished Serenes, and bearing that being true, to ask if Zelgius is as well. He unfortunately lacks the strength to bring Zelgius to a proper resting place, but with any luck his inquiries will rectify this. 

He approaches making sure to catch Tibarn's eye before he can take off again. Tibarn stops mid stretch as he catches sight of Lehran and his lack of movement is quickly noticed by Reyson as well. 

“Prime Minister Seph-” Tibarn begins before catching himself, “no, I suppose your neither of those now. Lehran, do you have business with us?” He says with a hint of ambivalence.

“I do.” He says with some hesitance. “As you acknowledged I am no longer that person, and I wish to make that true in more than just name. I'm in no position to be asking favors, however if the two of you will allow it, I would like to return to the forest of Serenes. I wish to become better… to heal. I can think of no better way than by witnessing the resolve of the heron tribe.” 

There's a pause as Tibarn listens before looking to Reyson for his input.

“Despite everything, I think my father, King Lorazieh, would be happy to know that you live. I cannot say that you will be entirely welcome, but I can say there is a place for you in Serenes.” The prince concedes. 

 

“Thank you. I will not let this kindness be a waste.” He sighs, relinquishing a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “But if there is one more thing I may ask…”

******

The clearing delegated to the two of them is small but not without its beauty. The robust and vibrant nature of Serenes is felt throughout every corner of its woods leaving a sensation that engulfs his senses. It is a sight Lehran never thought he would see spring up from the charred husks of trees and rotted earth the land had spent the last decades as.

He kneels over a patch of noticeably turned earth with a simple but respectable marker above it. With King Tibarn's assistance and graciousness, Lehran was able to bring Zelgius to a proper resting place. One day, when he has done all he can to rectify his mistakes, and when he has seen his Goddess whole again, he will rest here, too. 

As for now, he compromises. His home is not far from the clearing. He makes a short trek every day to tell Zelgius of his healing, of how the world is changing, of the small birds and their songs. He tells him of things from the smallest of joys to the tinges of doubt that still creep into his mind. And in all these words, he says him that he's sorry. If there is one thing he can still do for Zelgius, then it is ensure that he will not be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes you have to be the angst you want to see in the world even if that means writing a fic for the first time in 5 years and being nervous as hell about it.  
> If you want to talk about seph hit me up on tumblr (dcmcboxers.tumblr.com) or twitter (@Tazmilly_Royalty)


End file.
